Counseling Kevin
offers a round of those hilarious Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, and quite effectively compounds the humor by attributing them to some famous personalities. Some examples:
"I think there should be something in science called the "reindeer effect." I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect."--Al Gore, as told to Jack Handy
"How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak."--Cindy Sheehan, as told to Jack Handy
"I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas."--Dennis Kucinich, as told to Jack Handy
"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns."--Dick Cheney, as told to Jack Handy
If I may be allowed to add my own:
"We like to praise birds for flying. But how much of it is actually flying, and how much of it is just sort of coasting from the previous flap?"--Kyle Cupp, as told to Jack Handy
